This morning a demon walked up to my door and plonked a package in my hands. Actually that’s a lie. It wasn’t a demon. But he was handing me a key to hell itself!
It was a tricky key to prise open. Behold the liberal use of gaffer tape that was used to keep this beast at bay!
Still, nothing my trusty
breadknife sword of the bearer can’t handle. Now we have it open, what’s inside!
Behold, the key to the gates of Hell (see what I’m doing with the whole Devil/Diablo metaphor thing there?). I’m almost hesitant to open it and unleash its unholy contents upon
my kitchen the world!! But fortune favours the brave. Here goes:
Inside there is a tome of insidious artwork, a disc of hellish music and this!
Yes, that’s a USB in the shape of gem and it fits into a metal skull. Suck it, fanboys! On top of that, you get the game, a behind the scenes DVD and a couple of in-game trinkets…
…which I am certainly looking forward to using, once the f*cking servers let me ACTUALLY PLAY THE SODDING GAME!!!