I’m losing my mind, Kupo

Final Fantasy XIII 2 Moogle

Time for you to pay for your crimes, kupo

I recently finished Final Fantasy XIII 2 for review kupo! You may or may not know this but there’s a character in it called a Moogle kupo. It’s name isn’t Moogle Kupo kupo. It’s just called a Moogle kupo. Thing is, it says kupo at the end of every single sentence kupo. And before long, you find yourself doing the same damn thing kupo.

I often sit and wonder if video games developers have brainstorming sessions that run long into the night, which are solely about the amount of new and absolutely stupid words they can introduce into our vocabluary, kupo. Take the Wii for example, kupo. When that was first announced, gamer hacks looked at each other and snorted kupo. What a silly name for a console, we said kupo. The Wii kupo? Seriously kupo? There’s no way that’ll ever catch on kupo! Nintendo has seriously shot itself in its foot kupo!

And less than a year later the only time the Wii was mentioned was like every single time you read a story about casual gaming kupo! And Nintendo were hailed as geniuses kupo. Same thing happened with Kinect kupo. Except everyone was rather more guarded in the way they praised it, and a large segment of the press did and still do say it’s rubbish kupo. But not because of its name kupo. The name is apparently fine kupo. They only recently announced piece of gaming terminology that everyone’s still ridiculing is the name of Nintendo’s next console, the Wii U kupo. You’d think we’d have learned by now kupo.

So yeah, this Moogle kupo. It says kupo at the end of every stuffing sentence kupo. Well nearly every sentence. And it gets flippin’ annoying kupo! I know why it does it kupo. According to the Final Fantasy wiki – are you really surprised one exists – Moogles have a verbal tic because English is their second language kupo. Well, duh, kupo. But that’s not the real reason they speak that way kupo…

It’s patently just a way for the developers to make the imp-featured puff ball look even cuter than it already does, kupo. Like it needs any help in that department kupo. Thing is, though, it doesn’t make the Moogle cuter, it makes it more annoying kupo. So annoying in fact that it make me want to take out my frustrations physically kupo. Normally, Kirby would be on the receiving end of this sort of punishment, but that seems unfair kupo. So I’ve ordered a Moogle doll that I plan to kupo right in its kupo kupo…. kupo!

I need more coffee.

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