Black and white and red all over

Monday papers

This is a picture of a paper in a letter flap. Okay, it's a magazine. It's the best I could do at short notice on Monday. Shut up!

Today I am dealing with tradesmen (it’s not what you think) and deadlines (it is what you think), so in lieu of any deep and meaningful post about games, I thought I’d post this funny clip!

Aaaaah, Paperboy! The bane of my life growing up…

Okay, that’s not strictly true. But it was the bane of my life every time I went round to my mate’s house. I can’t remember what sort of computer he had. I can’t remember whether or not it had a crank shaft in the side of it. All I remember is that it had a tape-recorder connected to it, and to load up games, we had to load the Paperboy tape, press play and then stare into the flickering screen of his games machine, mumbling a prayer to the God of gaming to load the sodding thing. This would work about once in every twelve attempts. Once the Paperboy menu screen appeared, the real pain began.

Paperboy, in case you never played it, was an absolute pig of a game. It lulled you into a false sense of security before you played it, with its simplicity of concept and its bright, friendly visuals. It then blindsided you with a steadily rising difficulty level that started out at ‘ball-ache’ and went all the way up to @*&%ing #$%@!!!!!! I lost count of the number of time I fantasised about a level in which the entire conceit of delivering papers was tossed aside in favour of simply capping the chipper young protagonist and then leveling the entire game with WMD.

So, thank you, internet, for making my dream into a rather watchable YouTube clip.

The purveyors of this fine clip have done a series of game mash-ups that you may wish to check out. I’m crossing fingers they’ll do another one in which the Paperboy is hurled into the world of Contra. I don’t expect him to do as well there as Mad Dog did on his paper route, but then, that’s the point. I just want to watch him die!

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