So, E3 starts next week and if you’re interested, you can find a veritable trunk-load of articles by gamer hacks which make predictions about the expo, and list off what they’d like to see happen. While I’m on board with the notion that some new games, new kit, new toys and new stuff are all very cool, I have a couple of other things on my own personal wishlist.
Here’s what I’d like to see at E3
1. An empty seat next to the one I occupy on the plane going out there so I don’t have to share the armrest.
2. A line at immigration which takes less than nine hours to progress through. Or better yet, no line at all!
3. A hotel with a Wi-Fi connection which manages to be decent, free and easy to connect to ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!
4. A breakfast buffet at the hotel which doesn’t cause my arteries to scream out loud.
5. Food on the Convention floor that’s edible. Or cheap. Beggars can’t be choosers.
6. An interview with someone in developing or publishing which doesn’t sound like they’re quoting off a memorised shooting script.
7. Free Wi-Fi at the convention centre which can accommodate the amount of hacks who will be using it!
8. An explanation from Ubisoft about whether or not I AM ALIVE will ever see the light of day. And if not, why not.
9. Air conditioning in the pokey little rooms used for demos which last year turned into furnaces when they had more than four people in them.
10. An introduction to someone from GameRevolution, because I’ve been reading that site since 2000, and have loved it ever since.
11. A decent gym at the hotel so I can feel better about bringing gym gear that I probably won’t use.
12. An ATM which doesn’t whack a $5 surcharge on taking out the MONEY THAT YOU EARNED.
13. A slap fight between executives from Activision and EA while execs from Blizzard and BioWare look on muttering “Why can’t we all just get along?”
14. An empty seat next to the one I occupy on the plane coming back to the UK so I don’t have to share the armrest.
And in closing, thank you to the LA Lakers. I know that a lot of basketball fans in LA are gutted that the Lakers didn’t make it to the final this year, but I am glad that the final few days of E3 won’t see a street riot on the scale we saw last year.
To all my fellow E3 soldiers I say;
“Remember: if you have your passport and a credit card that isn’t completely maxed out, you should be fine.”