Shiny stuff: Homefront’s Guide to surviving under North Korean rule

 

Homefront Pamphlet

A guide for all happy citizens. This means, you!

 

Attention citizen. Next year Homefront launches and you will need to be in the head-space of an American citizen whose country has been conquered by the North Korean Army. Or something. To  that end, THQ has produced this handy Guide to teach you to smile, shut up and get to work. 

First, citizen, we shall measure the size of the Guide using the ever-reliable paperback-to-thingy ratio.

 

Homefront Pamphlet

Note how at home the offical guidelines look on your bookshelf, citizen

 

See! It’s comparable in size to some of the finest works of literature ever created. I’m sure when you scan, digest and then memorise its contents, this Guide will become one of your favourite reads. Observe how easily is sits next to the rest of your books (which may need to be reviewed and then burned).

 

Homefront Pamphlet

The guide is an incredible creation - concise, informative and easy to store

 

One might say that it’s almost subversive how easily the Guide hides itself on your shelf. But it’s not subversive, and the use of such language to describe the Guide is illegal and punishable by death.

 

Homefront Pamphlet

Note the great leader. Photographed in his prime

 

The Guide contains some fantastic artwork of your new leader, along with a brief history of how your backwards capitalist scum country got its rear-end handed to it on a plate. Read, absorb and realise that any resistance – as portrayed in the forthcoming title Homefront – is futile.

 

Homefront Pamphlet

Everyone's happy. The adults are happy. The children are happy. The soldier outside the window is happy

 

Besides, why would you want to resist? Under the new rule happiness is delivered, apparently. In fruit form. By the military.

 

Homefront Pamphlet

Who are these smiling people? Do they grow the fruits of happiness?

 

The Guide also contains a list of rules for rationing your minerals, water and other resources. Presumably while they’re being pumped out of the country.

 

Homefront Pamphlet

You are happy, citizen. Now get back to work

 

It also contains a list of numbers you can call for assistance. Since this is promotional material, citizen, these numbers are fake and there is no-one on the other end of them. However, they’ll still be more use to you than about half of the customer service lines operating for UK businesses.

Is your blood boiling with patriotic zeal over this fake propaganda. No? Mine neither. Still it’s certainly a creepy little item for any collectors of game tat out there. Any takers?

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