I am playing Outlast

I have called a lot of friends today on Skype.
When people have phoned me I have kept them on the line for as long as possible.
I have done three loads of laundry.
I have made a list of places I’d like to visit in London.
I have vacuumed the kitchen floor.
I have paired every pair of socks I own.
I have paired every pair of socks I don’t own.
I have visited the toilet innumerable times.
I have done everything I can to avoid playing this horrible fucking game that I have to play for review.
Seriously, Red Barrel. The hell with you.

Closed shop

GameWaste is now on permanent hiatus. Night night.

To the dearly departed

If you read this thing, you may have noticed a severe lack of posts over the last couple of months. This is because, if you follow videogames media at all, you’ll know that the in last couple of months everything went starey-eyed crazy round here. Names were named, claims were made, sides were drawn and flames spread through the UK gaming media. I escaped relatively unscathed, although I did get some criticism via email for all the Shiny Stuff I’ve posted up over the years. Silly me, I thought it was a bit of harmless fun – much in the same way I’ve always viewed this blog.

This is why there’s been hardly any content on here for the last couple of months. Harmless fun, it seems, isn’t harmless at all. It’s a smear on my credibility according to some. So I’m not really sure what to do with this blog anymore. It might be best to shut it down completely. While I while away what to do, here’s a spoilerific clip to watch about everyone who died in gaming this year..

And by ‘everyone who died’ I mean gaming characters who are no more. Not real people, mind.

Cup Cake Monday

So this morning I looked in the mirror at the rolls of flab I have cascading over my belt buckle and thought ‘Screw it! Time to get in shape!” Nevermind that the Silly Season is starting. Nevermind that oddles of sweets, cakes, puddings and roasty dinners are on the way – to say nothing of the vats of wine and beer – it’s time to shed some pounds. And as if on cue, this arrived:

The postman brought me a a gut-fattening barrage of cake. Nice Postman!

A ton of cupcakes. I can’t toss them because I’ll hear my mother intoning “Think Of The Starving Children”.  This is why my other half’s office is in for a treat tomorrow.

Professionally-made cakes. You can tell from the exactness and attention to detail

They look rather scrumptious, don’t they? This got me to thinking that PRs who send me a lot of this stuff usually get eff-all back. This is why I’m about to trek across London with my box of cakes, what I made decorated at the weekend.

Nick-made cakes. You can tell from their lop-sided, mutant-like appearance

Okay, so they don’t look so much decorated as they do look like someone abused them with an icing gun. But hey, I made them with luuuurve!

BioShock Infinite trailer bandwagon jump

Here’s something you don’t see every day; an award-nominated blog (or blog written by a LOSER) jumping on a hit bandwagon by posting up a trailer that’s set tongues wagging around the net.

In all fairness, though, I’d put this sucker up even if no one else gave a toss about BioShock Infinite.

No Moo Milk, so let’s hit the bar

Yesterday I decided to go on a pilgrimage to the Moo Milk Bar in Toronto. When I got there after a 30 minute hike, I found it was closed. What have I learned from this? Well, that when you’re in a strange town and you’re about to embark on a mission from the basketball gods to a place that serves cookies and milk, it pays to check the website of said place and see if THEY’RE CLOSED ON FRIGGIN’ MONDAYS!!!!

It also pays to have attended an event for a cross media piece of entertainment called ‘Defiance’ where they’re serving themed drinks! If you don’t know what Defiance is, check out the trailer. If you still don’t know what it is, then do some research, you lazy sods! I can’t be expected to do all the heavy lifting in these blog posts, ya know.

For the purposes of this post, though, Defiance is a sci fi series that’s premiering on Sy Fy next year, and it involves the struggle for racial harmony between alien races and humans in a post-apocalyptic future (yes, another one). One of these races is known as the Castithan, and they imbibe a beverage called Castithan Absinthe. Well, actually they don’t, but the event organisers needed a drink and that’s what they came up with. Here’s what goes into it:

1 shot of Tequila
1 shot of Gin
A splash of Vodka
A splash of Rum
A splash of Grenadine
Top it off with Orange Juice and Curacao Bleu

Be warned: This drink may taste like a melted ice lolly, but three of these will put Morris Dancers in your cranium the following morning without fail. Your friends at GameWaste urge you to drink responsibly. Or something…

Moo Milk and the TBJ in Toronto

Here’s something you probably don’t know about me: I follow basketball. I know. Earth-shattering, isn’t it? I bet your perception of me is completely blown, but there it is. I’ve followed basketball in general since about 1991, so I know why so many fans have it in for Lebron James and I know King James has a ways to go before he’s MJ. I’ve also followed the New York Knicks in particular since about 1991, so yes, I know what heartache feels like.

Kung Fu Mario

I’m not the biggest fan of the portly plumber and his never-ending problems with Bowser kidnapping Princess Peach. Maybe, according to this video, I just needed some context.

To be honest, if Mario had some combat mechanics, I’d be more inclined to give it a go…

Assassin’s Creed III’s revolution trumps the Boston Teaparty?

I’ve seen some pretty bold claims made in the name of gaming. Rock Band 3 proclaimed it could create musicians. Def Jam Rapstar proclaimed it could turn nerds in bona fide MCs. And now, Assassin’s Creed III would have you believe that its fictional war between the Templars and Assassins mattered more than the American Revolution!

There you have it! The revolution that threw off the shackles of the oppressive British Empire pales into insignificance next to the antics of a hooded wetboy hacking up redcoats, tiptoeing across rooftops and having chats in candlelit rooms with wig-wearing blokes.
This ups the dramatic stakes of the AC franchise immensely because AC: III’s story has some lofty heights to reach. Stay tuned!

World Of Warcraft Mists Of Pandaria launch snaps

Cafe De Paris gets the Pandarian treatment

Last night Blizzard launched the new World Of Warcraft expansion pack and they were kind enough to invite me down to eat their food, drink their booze and generally make a nuisance of myself with my camera phone!